What is the bigger picture? At times I sit around and wonder why I am doing the things that I am doing. My life is in shambles. Well at least I feel like it is. A typical day starts at 7am when I have to drag my butt out of bed to get ready. I head to class at 8 and finish around 10. Then it is off to job 1. I work for 3-4 hours and then head to job 2 where I put in a full 8 hour shift.This happens 3-4 times a week. I then have to attempt to do homework so that I can pass all of the classes that I am taking. Believe me if I would have known that taking 18 credits and working 60+ hours a week was even possible I would have laughed in your face. Now it is my normal day.
The bigger picture is that I will be paying off all of my school loans before I get accepted in the Nursing program and have the money to pay for the rest of school with out taking out any more loans. I really liked this idea in the beginning but now am not sure that I will last until graduation in May.
I feel as if I am not taking that good of care of Geoff. I know that he is a big boy and does not need my help but is that not what marriage is about? I want to be home to cook dinner when he gets home. I want him to be able to come home to a clean house with all the laundry done. So why is it that the things I want most in life right now are the ones that are getting put on the back burner? The bigger picture. In the end I will have a job that I can pick the hours I want to work and when I want to work and I will have all the time in the world to spend with Geoff.
But for now it feels like I am missing out on so much that we could be doing together. Besides going to bed I do not think that we have had more than 1 hour together in months. It is sad really and I am so very blessed to have a husband that is supportive of what I am doing. He is always telling me that I can do better than what I think. I was studying one night and freaking out about a test the next day. Geoff told me that he knew I would do great and to stop stressing out about it. It was so nice to hear him say that he knew I was smart enough to accomplish this small test! I did get a 98% on it by the way! I was so stoked.
Geoff is the light of my life and I do not know what I would do with out him. He makes me stop and look around at everything that is going on. He has taught me that I should think things through instead of just jumping into them. It does take the fun out of some things but he is so amazing!
Okay enough of that. I am just having one of those days where I just want to crawl in bed and not get out for a week :) But life goes on. Thanks for listening!
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4 comments:
I'm having one of those days too. Not so much working 60 hours a week, but having the never ending seem...never ENDING! :-) Hang in there, that's really REALLY great that you'll have no loans for school. It will SUCK a lot, but you'll be SO glad later! :-) Keep on keepin on!
I remember my mom telling me about when she was in school to become a RN & her dad was giving her a hard time about never going to the lake with them (a family tradition of almost every weekend in the summer). He told her, "Well, you do what you want." It made her really mad because she thought, "Ya, I really want to be studying & working instead of going to the lake." But after thinking about it for a while, she realized that what she really wanted was to be a RN, even if it meant sacrificing now. She did & and always loved her job. You'll make it!
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